In Rao's Light
by SarahZorEl
Summary: As her age of ascension approaches, Kara has no choice but to face some of her deepest insecurities.. going into heat... will Kara find that one true love? The one she thought she'd left behind?
1. Chapter 1

**Background: Kryptonians have their own Soul mark (only ever in pairs) It was never known who the other person was (that had the same mark) until your paths crossed naturally... then it was seen as a blessing from Rao, him having brought you both together so your stars align providing you with a somewhat mystical telepathic soul-bond that is deemed 'impossible' to have been created genetically by the matrix... (it baffles scientists, but happens anyway)**

 ***Other mystical situations have been known to occur that are often recorded in Kryptonian books as either history, religious prophecy or Myths and Legends (Depending on how far back they go/whether they can be proven.)**

 **Kara has grown up with slightly more devout beliefs instilled within her having witnessed that on Krypton... She retreated into her shell living on earth where sex and relationships are sometimes seen as just a lot of casual fun or nothing serious. (a definite clash of cultures). Especially considering she had to hide her uniqueness and 'Alieness' from the world which only proved to isolate her further leading to the often meek & quirky 'insecure wallflower' type we see as 'Kara Danvers' on the show... something she has slowly grown out from underneath due to the mentoring of Cat Grant and by embracing herself and who truly she is as Supergirl, helping with her confidence and insecurities.**

* * *

Floating high above towering skyscrapers... sun dipping among the clouds sending shimmering golds, flamboyant pinks and ripples of purple spanning the circumference of the city. Refracted light bouncing off the tally of glass.. creating earths very own natural disco ball showering the citizens in sparkling twilight. The clouds themselves opaque, appearing a rich orange.. just close enough to touch, Kara watched infatuated as moist particles bobbed through the air like a translucent mist full of potential planetary life-force. Running an elegant hand over the smokey molecules.. practically tasting the damp crisp condensation on her tongue she hovered wholly enamoured by Mother Nature and what she had to offer.

On the ground citizens crowded around in awe. Just a blackened silhouette against a deep chestnut sky, outline of a crimson cape flickering lightly. It was at times like these they'd gasp in reverence, belief finally settling in that almighty higher power... likely now understanding why humanity claimed her as their Kryptonian messiah, because _none of it_ _seemed real._

Dipping her head down, bowing before the gods Kara chanted an ancient Kryptonian prayer

"Though we go forth alone, our soul unites us under Raos gladsome rays... "

Drifting slowly downward head still held in prayer, toes gently touching the ground as the gathering crowd awaited her presence in growing anticipation...

Turning Kara continued "We are never lost we are never afraid"

Stepping forward "For we shrink not under the sun of riotousness"

Running a hand daintily to brush those reaching out, as she passed them slowly.

Speaking slightly louder, walking more firmly her head remained dipped "Rao binds us to those we love, he gives us strength when we have none"

Stopping as she crouched at the mercy of a young disabled woman, one she'd recently rescued, wheelchair bound and leg amputated at the knee. Carefully placing two heated palms either side of damp cheeks, Kara lifted her head looking desperately into solum grey eyes, her own tears falling "...and in the darkest places he guides us"

Squeezing each other, before letting go Kara twisted upward and continued her prayer, striding with more confidence now bellowing "For Rao sees all feels all...

Reaching an adorable child, no older than eight wearing a supergirl cape. Pretty blonde hair done up to look just like hers... Smiling in adoration soon two blue arms opened up, held outward waiting... she came running into Kara with an _omph_. Looking up Supergirl noted two parents arms tightly bound together watching with a sort of loving appreciation as Kara held their child, their eyes blinking brightly at Kara Zor-El in greeting as she met their gaze, faces crinkling toward her with kind affection.

Kara moved further inward until the child's head was buried at the hollow of her neck, her own face comforted against a tiny silk woven shoulder. Closing her own teal eyes briefly, she held her close... the pair clasped together for just a few strung out thribs on a Kryptonian timepiece.. Kara's heart was soothed as she took in the clean scent of a doted on baby girl and the crisp leaves that littered the top of earths moist soil. Letting go, looking over at this little girls wide eyed expression she whispered "...his love eternal" before running her thumbs over smooth skin petting lightly, lifting up to stand. Kara's lips curling melting as the kiddo bounced back over to her parents giggling about meeting her favourite superhero.

Kara turned around, standing infront of the crowd of mesmerised citizens.. head searching, voice not wavering "Rao protect us so we might protect others" reaching both hands out one last time as they surrounded her, all wanting to touch the celestial soul of this beautiful majestic angel... worried they'd never be graced with the warmth of her presence again.

She finished "...and we shall rise a fire in his hearth burning and free." Before slowly rising from the crowd looking down, sniffly faces following her upward until she decidedly shot off into the glow of the night.

* * *

 ** _'-pergirl was spotted earlier hovering and chanting over National City in a foreign dialect before making her presence known_** **_to fellow onlookers on the ground. They say she switched to English before reciting some sort of exterrestrial_ ****_poem..._**

 ** _..descriptions are varied but one thing of note is that with each witness coming forward they all mention that it was nothing short of a life altering experience...'_**

 ** _'Do you think she could be celebrating a prominent day in Kryptons own history Blake?'_**

 ** _'...you make a good point Andrea, I'm not entirely sure.. little is known of life on Krypton other than the fact our two resident heroes where born on its surface... I would however like to send out an invitation to those within the Alien community to ask for any information in regards to Krypton and Kryptonian culture to help shed light on Supergirl and what our icon could've been up to this evening... thank you._**

 ** _~This Is Andrea Franklin and Blake Fraiser with Entertainment at Midnight bringing you the latest in all things Super, that's everything for now, Goodbye'~_**

Tuning out, Lying on her bed overridden with solitude Kara couldn't help but reminisce of a past world.. one were she would be fast approaching her age of ascension. One of adulthood and soulmarks. On Krypton she would have found them by now, her destined mate and be expected to marry them _her betrothed._... matched by the matrix but also the stars. Kara knew that they were gone, here no longer. She watched it herself, first ecological death, then the civilisation being blasted.. her planet being torn apart.

She's gotten used to the idea of being alone, having to reconcile past romantic notions to nothing but mere fantasy... Though it existed on Krypton, here on earth the term 'soulmate' was considered nothing more than something to joke about or to garner disapproving stares for believing in something so foolish... that.. according to earthly residence _was not real_. Here they were nothing but a myth or sweet nothing, a loving word in someone's ear. Kara could see the benefit.. of having free will and free reign, _having a choice_ but frankly the idea of pursuing romantic attachment without it being Rao's destiny, his wish... it seemed _shallow_ because without all of that devotion, that urge to die for your lover, that love eternal.. it was _to Kara at least_... _meaningless_. Experiencing a telepathic bond with your mate was something she'd dreamt about since childhood... having that one person who filled your lungs with air, who kept your heart still beating. The one that made time stand still and the tornado within your mind subside. The someone you'd travel galaxies far and wide just to rescue, unable to survive without their existence in your life or their thoughts wrapped around your spirit imbuing you with vitality.

It was disheartening knowing she'd never get to feel that, experience what it's like. People just assume she's prudish, frigid, frugal with those type of attachments but deep down Kara knew... that wasn't entirely true. That's not why she doesn't date, she just... steers clear from potential partners.. tries not to go there because what's the point when it was clearly not Raos will, to grant her that 'normal' white picket fence type of life.

Her destiny was to protect earth, be its saviour... done without a soul-bond then so be it, a heroes journey is a lonely one... it had no place for family.

However that didn't mean she wasn't presented with the reality of what that meant, certain difficulties accompanying that journey she had yet to rectify. Like animals.. _humans even_ here on earth the puppet that sustained her, _her body_ was inbuilt with a certain level of programming... She still experienced arousal, with her growing age that was becoming abundantly clear. As it grew closer, the nearer to what would've been her ascension to adulthood... her body and muscles continuously ached with the need to be tangled and wound around another, that of her match, her mate... it was instinct.. a gut reaction and it was horrifying ..the prospect she'd never let it be satisfied.

Kara had debated internally, battled with herself over her morals and culture whether she _should_ just go out to seek out pleasure. A casual fling... she could just check off from that invisible list of 'teenage experiences and life lessons' _Alex_ was determined she have. To remove any of those question marks and invalidate the necessity for arousal, remove it from her system entirely. But again... that wasn't a solution, only an action _she knew she'd regret._ It wasn't known whether that'd shut off that side of her brain desperate for release... because it wasn't the only thing it was after... it wanted to form that link.. it wanted a _forever_ not just something born of out greed and selfishness.

Sex was a Kryptonian ritual, _more like a mix between the Kama Sutra and a robed cult_ by earth standards but _more.._ a moment to cherish the flesh of your partner, feel each other and _literally_ become uniquely one. So she couldn't bring herself to do it... Bound to spend eternity in perpetual torment only mildly placated by her own hand. _It was embarrassing,_ the frequency she found herself begging her own three fingers for release, curling them inside herself wishing it were someone else... _anyone else._ Just to get rid of the pain, the missing space inside. Sighing Kara stared down at her lower half, shirt riding up from the position she held. Running a finger absentmindedly, tracing the lines that ran through her lower chest, feeling the tiny minute hairs and freckles as the point and crux of her index finger followed each groove. She reached the curve of her hip, protruding and womanly .. _I'm pretty right? ... I don't think people mind what I look like.._ she wasn't sure... Kara had always been more than a little insecure. Full of steel, jutting metal.. having crevices people didn't even know existed. She had abs that weren't even listed in all those medical textbooks Alex often read during Anatomy 101.

She'd hear people call out to her, Supergirl was often the object of people's private fantasies, Kara always wondered what they'd picture because she knew that _it certainly wasn't the real me..._ _but_... to be fair, from what she often heard it was more about the cape than the girl _I swear they'd rather rub themselves with it than me usually._

Sometimes Supergirl was the topic of celebrities hottest, proclaimed sex icon... Kara's ego would momentarily bolster, make up for her lack of bodily confidence until she read the finer detail. Perceptions devastatingly skewed when they all automatically assumed you were sleeping with multiple sexual partners at any one given point in time. _They think I'm a player, purely because according to them I could have anyone I desired._

Maybe that was true... _if_ she could get through one sentence with out so much as stuttering or fumbling like a fool. She was far more comfortable on her own anyways _I don't need anyone else_ , _you can do this Kara... soul bonds are for chumps. I mean how would that go anyway?_ Human courtships still baffled her and it's not like they'd link.

Moving lower she looked at herself hesitantly, nothing sexual _surprisingly_ but she was just curious what other people must _truly_ think... the v at her hips lead down to two muscular thighs, opening wide she couldn't help but look closer. Her lips were slightly puffy, still evident from her earlier ministrations. Two pink inner lips poking out just slightly, she parted herself, left over arousal making them sticky. Pulling back her clitoral hood, the nub of sparkling persistently hard nerve endings elicited a spike of electricity, groaning Kara ceased her movements she didn't want _that right now_.

Instead she got out of bed, removing her shirt as she went until she stood buck naked infront of a wall length mirror. Twisting and turning _she was alien..._ nothing you could do to hide that. No human looked this sharp, not even on steroids. See Kara wasn't built, but she was toned... _far_ _too toned_ if she wanted to get by in society without turning heads. Her body was lithe and supple, longer too. Her skin was almost luminescent, _the yellow sun did that... it wasn't human_. She had zero discolouration, no scars, even her mound was bare... no stubble... it was like silk _not that it mattered._ But as much as that was the object of people's envy Kara hated it, just another thing to add to her growing list of how she was so _different_. She'd long for a pimple every now and then... to reassure her that she was normal, that she belonged.

At that her eyes flickered to the thing she'd been ignoring this whole time _her soul mark._ It wound around her legs, patterns of Kryptonian markings embedded and risen from the skin. It started on her mound and curled up over her left hip until it slid under her leg reaching close to her labia, finishing up by wrapping itself around her right thigh. It was a beautiful intricate alien pattern _that just made her hate it even more._

Touching it it swirled slightly like runny ink in water.

It was black.. a reminder that she'd not yet matched, that her virginity at least in Rao's mind was intact because she'd yet to form a telepathic bond. You could only do that with your soulmate.. you could have thousands of partners in one lifetime but until you'd found the right match and they'd touched it... that was that. It'd turn red, you'd marry, your heat would start and then the ritual of bare flesh was needed to form an eternal link. Only once consummated were you considered an adult, once your ascension had lifted. When you understood your partner through feelings alone, could hear their inner workings, even see the deepest part of themselves clearer than you could see yourself.

Biting a lip she caressed it lightly watching the pattern shift and change due to her own deft fingers. As always it stayed the same colour. She didn't like this ... _it was what made her so insecure,_ not even Alex knew it existed, far too personal. Kara had kept it hidden, Alex just assumed she was conservative and _that was fine._ Thankfully the suit still hid it well, the tights and skirt kept the blue knit in place. After all she'd made certain... _Leslie Willis's comments still sometimes grate her._ Clearly someone who'd noticed her extra efforts to appear normal... to hide her otherworldly attributes.


	2. Chapter 2

_'you remind me of true love when it's nowhere to be found.'_

* * *

Striding into work the next waking, sun imbued morning- Kara's senses were entangled with the lull of a brusque office building... papers flapping, coffee grounds whirling through a hum of a overworked machine, rotting baked goods, age old faxes, creaking printers and a bustle of sweaty human employees. Stood inside the elevator Kara winced as each ding sent a piercing hum through a sensitive eardrum... she crinkled her nose and held her breath as _Jones_ from three floors up forgot to wear deodorant on a scorching scar inducing- enduringly hot day in a heaving concrete city.

 _... Not that she could feel the elevated temperature changes- but a shower would always help, even without olfactory nerve endings as pointed as Supergirls she'd undoubtedly pass out._

Reaching her floor, Kara brushed past awkwardly tumbling between her human counterparts as she used a _subtle amount_ of steel and strength just to make it through the two double doors. Finally at the bullpen soothed by the reminder of a place she'd come to love, Kara stood looking around somewhat freely, releasing hold of her four sectioned and thoroughly Alien lungs...

The air cooling as she regained control of that stream of excess carbon dioxide she'd been desperately holding, long enough that _she'd stopped counting-_ exhaling, her eyes widened as she spotted the corner of Miss Grants pink panther statue freeze up... _fudge!_ Grazing a hot palm over she removed icicles swiftly as two blue weary orbs darted around for anyone watching. Too invested in her super dilemma of only _that hour_ to notice Winn walking up behind her. Leaning into her ear "Boo"

Kara jumped like roadrunner swirling around and scowling at a hunched over Winn eyes gleaming with unspent laughter...

Freaking "Winn! WHY ARE YOU SNEAKING UP ON ME!" What Kara hadn't noticed is that the now _cracked_ pink panther was crumbling under Kryptonian hands.

Both sets of eyes jumped in realisation between the triangle of steel, human flesh and hot pink porcelain. One mass of intricately connected and _streamlined Kryptonian_ neurones and that of a _small_ inadequate _better than average brain_ held inside the body of a homosapien calculated their current predicament, accessing the damage. _Rao this thing has already been superglued... thrice_ she doubted it'd be put up with more _breakage_.

Winn grabbed Kara by the shoulders pushing her into the nearest closet noticing how Jen from finance and Elle from HR were staring... _curiously._

Inside the thin walled and _weirdly compact_ room Kara was trying not to focus on the obvious accidental skin to skin contact.

Uncomfortable... Whispering "What are you doing here? You don't even work here anymore? ...If Alex wants my snickerdoodle stash you have to tell her to wait until lunch... I spent too long compiling that amount for her to just hand them off to every DEO guard in sight... I may be selfless but _I ain't THAT selfless."_

Only half listening Winn rambled as Kara started cringing "Thanks for the nice welcome, y'know it wouldn't kill you to appreciate my visits... and _We all know_ you'll sacrifice yourself for **anyone** and probably end up giving up your underwear if that only meant helping cover up some poor homeless chap but when it comes to a snickerdoodle you automatically become golum... why is that?"

Face rising and falling at each word, cocking her head she landed on ..."what's a golum"

Rolling his eyes, looking on with offence he waved a fabulous hand dismissively "So not the time... that's not even what I'm here for... Miss Grant called me."

At that Kara stood up straighter, perking up "Wait what for?"

Before she could find out... "KIERAAAAA"

"Speak of the devil... looks like that's our que.."

Tumbling out of the closet all legs limbs and seductive hand placements they fell to the floor Kara jumping when she felt Winns hand on her ass ... "DUDE"

Backing off whipping his hands away from the outer corners of her dress... "I didn't mean it" ..."Sorry"

Clearing her throat she adjusted... eyes lingering on that patch of skin showing, anxious to see if any Alien attributes had been _compromised_. She looked up to Winn hovering above her holding out a clammy hand in friendship.

Taking it she hustled through the bullpen.. nerves too frayed and feelings awash with insecurities as Winn followed not far behind still blushing and apologising.

Arriving to a clear windowed office full and immaculate, Cat Grant stood out amongst them all... Givenchy blouse contrasting with a graceful tear drop necklace and a few more obtuse bangles that undoubtedly cost more than she'd ever rescued from all of those bank robbers.

Leaning casually ontop of resin and hard wood, Jimmy choos hooked together and falling off Cat bit the edge of her thin framed spectacles glancing up.

"If you two have finished breaking things and hooking up... i'd like to get on with the meeting that was scheduled..." looking to her watch ... "five minutes ago.. _._ "

Winn went to speak until she tutted, shutting him up "At least you don't last that long."

Flustered spluttering Kara decided it would be best to not play into her games _or assumptions_ "eh um -Miss Miss Grant ah we-we we're not..." as Kara continued indicating between the two of them, Cat smiled daring her to carry on... slouching drawing backward "Doesn't doesn't matter"

At that Cat turned flaunting around her desktop coming to a stop, she leant forward like the elegant queen she was... looking to Snapper Carr body filled with dominance...

"You will be pursuing that story on the Alien community Kara so eloquently keeps pitching you.."

Gesturing to the air "After Supergirls pursuit into the woes of what I _assume_ is religion, I'd like to know what precisely is going on and I'd also like more of all of that extraterrestrial stuff... because the readers eat it up"

Snappers eyes were bulging "But this is MY newsroom... I'm the head, this is MY decision not yours... _Cat_!"

Already knowing what was coming Kara held her tongue and stepped back into the throws of coeds as she watched the debacle unfold...

Hazel eyes connecting Snapper gulped, slowly grazing forward... she put one foot in front of the other... back muscles gracefully sliding.. calves strutting taut as she steadied herself standing impossibly tall for someone that small.

Dancing around the subject for fun...

She smirked "Would you like to tell me the name of this building..."

Snappers mouth stayed stapled shut.

Ignoring his lack of comment "From what I can tell... it says... oh I don't know... _Catco."_

Voice rising in level and pitch "So THIS IS MY BUILDING TO DO AS I WISH."

Reeling herself back in, all blinking eyelashes- right eyebrow arched as she casually tore him down "Now if you don't mind.. keep that arrogant trap shut.. you should be _climbing_ my ass like King Kong to run that story... otherwise you'll be gone from here quicker than Olivia managed to oust that overgrown tangerine from the White House."

Looking to the rest of the employees she glared snapping her hands together "... CHOP CHOP!"

In a frantic bustle Kara was caught in the middle of the crowd clutching at herself nervously as she waited for it to be over... exhaling when everyone else had left the room, all but Cat and Snapper Carr... Winn called out to her "Kar... um she asked us to leave..."

Blue eyes opening Cats claws metaphorically grabbed onto her "Not you... I want you in here... _both of you.."_

Eyes twinkling as she settled herself down, taking a moment to absorb some of Kara's natural glow she warmed "Kara, I want you to be lead reporter on this ... your connection with Supergirl, the Alien community in general will no doubt prove to be worthwhile, I have _good reason to believe that_ you will exceed all expectations, I know that you'll make me proud..."

Kara's heart soared, hip tingling.. her brows furrowed as she grazed her nails scratching subtly.

Just as Snapper went to open his mouth Cat pressed a finger up in warning looking to Winn "Now Winslow... I called you in from your _black ops program_ because I need your expertise on something so follow me."

Looking between Kara and Snapper... "you two shoo"

At that Kara walked away, forced to listened to Snappers stream of curse words mumbling under his breath on her rookie reporter status...

 _"Ponytail, f?! k £ & : ..._

 _... can't believe b£ &)h..."_

Letting out a heavy sigh, it was only adding fuel into her already rampant doubts... trying to let the words blow past she used the lingering sentiment of Cats enthusiasm to help quash her internal struggle as she shimmied outside, readying to brace the world of top tier journalism.

* * *

It was only after writing an outline, a stray trip to find sources at the Alien bar and a mudslide off the coast of Guatemala did she retire to the sky... fluttering over her adoptive cities coastline, all shiny and romantic... coloured lights dancing, dotting off the water.. skyscrapers covered in decorations bright and sparkling wrapped up in LEDs like tinsel, all happy go lucky... again reminding her of the beauty in this stunning world... that of the human race ontop of what she'd already noticed in Mother Nature.

Finding solace in the deep night... hovering like a bird, wings stretched unburdened, set free...

The seductive qualities of the city sent waves of passionate loneliness crashing down, as longing spiralled throughout her... muscle fibres aligned with that of fire... licking at her will power, at her unquestionable belief in something _more, beyond_ the skies of this earth and onto another.

She was sick of the games, each test of patience... each _weakness, trial and tribulation._ She just wanted to be desired... to have a person to share her life with was that so much to ask?

Inhaling letting the ice cold night freeze those thoughts... seeped in frost, she'd leave them, allow them to thaw out another day. One where she was content enough to acknowledge and understand they're true meaning.

Downcast, overtook by a crisscross of feelings to go with the glittery mood ambiance she honed in on one heartbeat, that of an old friend... or new _if you counted the recent frequency in balcony visits_ as something fresh.

There was something about the Catco balcony that made her feel invincible... that for all of the bad thoughts and cruel things her life entailed she was _okay_ as long as she had this space to manage herself and work through the ongoing puzzle.

Slowing down the warm pulse of a mentors heart grew louder the elastic of her boots clinching as swooped onto solid ground. Joining the wisest woman she's ever known Cat hummed "It seems you've treated your flawless skin to a mud mask and might I say _bath... earlier_ in the evening... I hope it didn't cause you too much trouble."

Kara laughed chuckling sitting the opposite side of the balcony couch watching with a sort of loving care... "Mhmm y'know me I'm all about the cucumber eyes and massages though I think next time I might try an indoor and _less dramatic_ version."

Cats lips quirked fondly as they sat with nothing but the stars above them. Observing Supergirl... she seemed down... long gone to her own personal mindscape as she mulled inside her inner workings, intermittently looking up to the black sea of constellations like they were personal friends of hers.

Cat liked to think that she could pinpoint her tells, that she knew more information than most- because they'd been trading pieces for weeks... Cat didn't know the important details but she knew enough... _even if her_ gut instinct shouted a unique four letter word belonging to that of a hapless assistant she discreetly adored... dare she say it _Kara._

"Now.. do tell me since when did you become religiously inclined? Always moving, pushing onward, I never took you as one to hold onto something so-"

Supergirl raising an eyebrow "so?"

... a _challenge_ Cat held her tongue from commenting something too brash "so _old fashioned?_ Don't misconstrued my wording... I- can see the moral code in religion and its guiding values.. it's just- you've never seemingly expressed anything of the sort before and it's got me wondering what Krypton was like... because _I thought your foundation was in science?"_

Kara grinned _that was such a human question._ "I didn't even confirm that my mantra yesterday was religious in nature but now we're on the topic..."

Cat rolled her eyes smirking... _"of course it was your hardly chanting Shakespeare."_

 _I wouldn't be so sure..._ "On Krypton we valued Religion as much as we did Science... they were never two separate entities they worked together as concepts and intertwined, like the fabric of the universe."

Twisting her cape, unbunching it she sighed "It was a sort of Equilibrium... the basis at the core of our religion was science and the basis of our science was religion... our sun was that of a red giant _who_ we worshiped, we called him Rao..." glancing away, biting a lip wincing at the words that followed "our stars.. the constellations we called them _Kara_... goddess of beauty and lastly Yuda... the Mistress of the Moons. They provided life... so we provided them with our belief. Though of course we had mythology too, the stories that were read to us from the Book of Rao as children but... it was never a cause of such _strife_ and segregation like here on earth. On Krypton we rejoiced together, primarily we had one religion and one alone... there were times in our less advanced age where none of that was the case but we reached a pinnacle of such enlightenment and togetherness.. it's something I've not had the opportunity to watch for decades."

"So you coexisted... there were no wars on Krypton?"

Kara shook her head "Oh no there were definitely wars... my Aunt she was a General in the military guild.. just not over religion. As far as I can tell the high council banished the last dark priestess to the far corner of Argo so there wasn't much left to dispute."

"Ah so exile is your way of dealing with a variance in opinion... perhaps not as enlightened as you may seem to think _Supergirl_."

Kara shrugged "I've seen enough proof in Rao to know that it's no contest... the dark priesthood, the ones that worshipped Yudicao were a reckless commodity and the dangerous equivalent of a human flat earther... _it made no sense._ "

"Dismissive... a little pessimistic... this is a new colour on you... whatever happened to the girl who valued honour and freedom.. the one to provide hope to even those _in exile?"_

Kara's mind flashed with images of human culture, it's system and it's courtship rules "Sometimes Freedom isn't as coveted and as perfect as one might seem to think Miss Grant." There was something deep rooted in that statement Cat was struggling to pinpoint... as Kara continued thinking..

 _The goddamn freedom to choose..._ That was a reason she couldn't have a soulmate like back on Krypton. _H_ _er realm... to take advantage of those ways in which she understood._

Sol provided a new way of doing things... _and she didn't like it. Not at all._

Only by the grace of Rao was she still going.


	3. Chapter 3

"O _hhh... mhmm yesss- oh oh_ _FUCK!"_

Twisting two fingers... picking up the pace... adding a lick of Superspeed, Kara was breathless and panting... fabric of her dotted blouse crinkled above her navel as a forceful hand worked away underneath her khakis... laying sprawled across a thrift store second hand couch, one leg cocked so she could reach a better angle... black rimmed glasses still in place over a flushed quivering brow tinted with the lasting affects of her arousal. Slithers of daisy yellow strands falling loosely from a tight ponytail as her whole body lifted- neck and arms straining, skull burrowing deeply into the tasselled pillow as her veins knowingly protruded.

Mouth open wide, face furrowed in concentration... it wasn't long until her moans grew exponentially longer, her toes started curling or her gasps rasped from the back of her throat. It _felt so good..._ all day she'd been pent up with tension, every second thought about _this moment_ getting home _,_ every _third_ thought about the sex lives of those she passed around her. Each and every young couple she spotted who looked _enamoured_ and ready to rip each other's clothes off. She sometimes wondered what that's like... after the guilt of the inherent privacy intrusion wore away or the stinging jealousy had seeped down into her subconscious layering the rest of those curious thoughts in a zingy subcontext, ignoring it in favour of _observation._

 _Humans are so curious,_ even now she found her mind tangled trying to understand... _without a soul bond how are they so in sync?_

She'd sat on a bench, casually pretending to feed the ducks, _also_ still pretending they don't scare the bejesus out her with those creepy beaks and feathered chests. _They have orange legs... who thought that'd be a good colour on them?!_

Adjusting her glasses, looking out from under lead lined frames, she followed the subtle brushes of gentle loving touches from two people who strolled along melwood park walking their cute chirpy dogs... they where laughing and joking wearing _matching_ clothing... _maybe that helped?_

 _She wasn't sure..._ either way.. they looked adorable and Kara couldn't help but feel _disgruntled... agitated._ That was becoming her new normal as of late.

 _Burying_ her feelings inside a food truck taco... she'd practically ran away when she realised the girl looked just like her, _so unfair..._

 _So it goes_... she took a stroll back over to the Alien bar... wanting to gather more willing subjects to open up on Alien Culture...

 _This_ was where she bumped into M'gann and had been introduced to an enormous group of Hopianz' attending a Hopthian latching ceremony, they'd come all the way from Gra-Fraz a space colony known for its gregarious and often raunchy nature.

 _Great. More lovey dovey stuff._ The reminders... _too much._

A kick to the nipples when _you could feeeel_ that sizzle of bodily ascension burning and pining along with you, she should be thrilled for them and a year ago she would have been- with slight melancholy _maybe..._ but now her Kryptonian heritage left something akin to bitterness and the resentment was becoming all consuming... the longer she waited... the longer she staved off every instinct... gradually it would become harder and harder to ignore. Her moods... emotions they'd become less 'your so cheery it's annoying' and more 'murderously horny so I'll tear your tongue out if you speak one more line on how the royal wedding made you cry' ... it was _irritating_ so yea, she was still 'annoying' to most people, just for less pg-13 reasons now. _Welp._ _At least she could still disguise herself as Kara Danvers huh?!_

 _Thankfully people didn't often look past a glasses fiddle and an over enthusiastic fake smile._

Sighing watching a rowdy bunch of patrons jump and drink, laying on the punches for th laughter. She saw another couple held inside a booth smooching in the corner... fairly certain that _they were dry humping._

Stood alongside multiple googly eyes, more so than on valentines and a gaggle of tipsy otherworlders - _unsurprisingly_ one inadvertently ended up landing beside her "Why the glum expression Miss Zor-El?"

Shaken her eyes snapped up to a toothy... grinning and slightly frumpy Hopianz' who _somehow_ knew -who -she -was? frowning .. _was he from Fort rozz?_

Waving her off "no no I'm a friend of Kryptons, the House of El was held in such high accord... of course I know who you are... practically the whole galaxy looked to you on bended knee... _well aside from Daxam of course."_

Crinkling her nose ... "of course..." Eyes bulging she realised "Wait!" Squinting in suspicion "You can read thoughts?! ..ee- _even my thoughts?"_ Shifty, cherry red and now somehow _sweating,_ Kara gulped _how awkward._

"Awkward indeed" Mr frumpy Mc frumpster™ answered as Kara's eyebrows floated to the ceiling... she was pretty sure they'd hopped inside a spaceship by now and had left earth for good.

Suddenly distracted by the image of two wavy admittedly _non existent_ lines piloting a space craft it took a moment for Kara's mind to grasp that cartoon story boards of that _really didn't matter_

Swallowing eyebrows returning "Sooooo"

Chuckling his one _giant_ tooth bobbed as he clutched at his chest "My you do have a creative mind Miss Zor-El I'd pay good Zoyks to see that in comic book format."

Shaking her head unsure voice high "Thank y-you?"

Nodding he retrieved said Zoyks and slammed them on the counter calling over to M'Gann "Two Molten Zydeho Ales please!"

Retrieving a bottle filled with sparkling gold it fizzled and hissed violently as she _carefully_ popped the cork. Hesitantly she passed them over whispering to Kara acknowledging the now smoking drink "Be careful, that ones a strong one."

Kara smiled taking the drink before they tapped each other's glass in cheers...

Boisterous "FAH GRAH!"

Politely "Fah Grah!" Clinking she almost choked as she felt her throat turn to liquid ice...

Taking a swing he leaned in, "I don't mean to pry, though I take it from the swirl of emotion I feel emanating from your bodice your problem is of a _mating sort... you_ have not yet ascended through the gods and found your desired match I pressume?"

Kara threw back the rest of her drink and winced "n-oope" popping the 'p'.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I understand it can be quite a challenge to ignore those particular _urges.."_

Agreeing "it's not exactly peachy keen but I'm dealing..."

Pointing his glass, leaning on his elbows providing some drunken words of wisdom "I had a friend once.. a Kryptonian, went through the same thing... Yal-Tor was his name, searched the whole of Krypton for his mate, never found a match... almost descended into madness having never completed his ascension.. for the shame it brought to his family, that was until... one evening right before he was due to loose his freedom for that of his madness, on the edge of snapping from the pressure for good.. one of the healers he'd encountered touched his mark to provide ointment _medicinal purposes and such._ He soon realised he didn't need it at all... as she was his soulmate, he'd found her when on the precipice of doubt and turmoil...

...so my advice to you is- do not give up Lady Zor-El you may find them yet.. I've found they tend to show themselves when your at your weakest or most insecure it seems."

Sighing relegating herself to talking to a perfect stranger "Everyone's dead... I doubt... I don't know how to do this on my own."

Cocking his head placing a claw ontop of her shoulder adding warmly "If it is your destiny to peruse this life alone.. I know for a fact that if anyone can it's you, it takes courage and will... you have both in abundance my friend."

Sat in silence she smiled wide for the first time in a while "Thank you."

Spending the rest of the day chatting she'd made a new buddy... he'd even introduced her to a few others of his kind before he'd offered to help her on another _more covert_ topic.

He'd asked what else he could do to help, understanding her struggle.. she'd immediately clicked to the radio broadcast... not wanting any speculation from other Hopianz'... _considering they're clearly telepathic_ and or any other off worlders for that matter _discovering_ her intimately personal dilemma- so she'd asked him to do some damage control.

Because _why the heck not._

* * *

Flopping back down from a quaking climax bones filled with jello, she tuned her ears into the regular radio show hosting _her_ as their main topic... _I still dunno how they find so much material to keep on going..._

 **A: " _... so your from the Planet Gra-Fraz? Where is that exactly? "_**

 ** _"About 16.5 light years away... to give an example Krypton is 27, so we're somewhat in the middle..."_**

 **A: " _What's your name, species?"_**

 ** _"My name is ToK JorKk and I am Hopianz."_**

 **A: " _Well thank you ToK JorKk.. for talking with us today, and just to be clear you knew of Krypton? When it existed? You may know why Supergirl was chanting a few evenings ago?"_**

Nodding he cleared his throat, tooth grazing his lip as he smiled innocently _ **"I did, Krypton was known far and wide for its influence and democracy... they where a conservative people, stuffy but honourable... moral. The House of El was one of the noble houses... I am glad to see Supergirl is serving their memory honourably and making her parents proud."**_

Karas heart fluttered at his words.

 **B: _"So you know of her family... could you tell us more?"_**

Dodging _**"ahh I'm afraid I only know of their legacy, I would not wish to speak of them without Supergirls express permission, It would be dishonourable to speak of people I'm not fully acquainted with for they are dead and I will not bring those memories to the surface, that is her story if she ever wishes to tell it."**_

Switching topics they landed on..

 **B: "** **So this poem... does it have any significance on Krypton? A popular book or a holy day or something?"**

 ** _"Ah well, that is just a standard prayer... you see Kryptonians worship a god of the sun named Rao... I imagine all she was doing was wishing the public well, including them in her prayers. She is a compassionate soul that one."_**

 **A: _Interesting, Thank you so much for joining us... would you be willing to speak more on Gra-Fraz another day?_**

 ** _"Ack Yes certainly it would be my greatest pleasure."_**

 ** _~This Is Andrea Franklin and Blake Fraiser with Entertainment at Midnight bringing you the latest in all things Super, that's everything for now, Goodbye'~_**

* * *

At the crackle of blank space Cat peeked up from idly scanning financial documents to turn off the radio broadcast. Grey bags adorning two weighted eyes, she glanced at numbers pertaining to Catco's latest issue.. they where down... way down... though not as low as her prime competitor, her _original_ place of employment 'The Daily Planet' _thank god for small mercies._

Although it certainly wasn't looking promising.. Reminiscing.. she could still picture the woe adorning Perry Whites face as she struggled to contain her mirth.. even now, two decades on when she'd all but squashed them under her crown- of the first time Catco had flown past them in sales and popularity rankings.

He'd called up in congratulations _of course_ , with something similar to that of steaming jealousy adorning his tone... _subtle but there nonetheless._ She hadn't spent years under his mentor ship to not recognise falsehoods. He was _a friend_ but often one to sulk when his pride and joy failed to keep up and frankly that only motivated her further... which was only a blessing.

 _That's what happens when you don't change your business strategy in decades._

They'd relied on Superman alone to carry the journalistic business of metropolis into the 21st century, whereas Cat had poured tears of life into Catco, her own life. Never one to crawl around picking at the trail of breadcrumbs emanating from a strong emboldened _superpowered_ shadow... because at least.. within her own mind.. _she was that shadow_ and she had more dignity _than that._

Like her name suggested she'd positioned herself as head of the hierarchy, manipulating the business so it was **she** who created the latest trends, fads and had inadvertently become the feminist hero National City had once needed...

 _However_ in modern day... they now had a new hero, the Girl Of Steel... one even more _worthy_ of the mantle of the upmost powerful and Cat had subsequently found herself stuck in a dilemma of her own making... due to her own creation.

Meticulously debating as to whether she _should_ actually be following in Perry Whites grumpy footsteps. Wondering whether selling her morals to that of a perky smile and a billowing cape would do the trick.. and _be worth it,_ because she loath to admit it but somewhere in there he may have had a small yet _existing_ point.

She needed quick sales, she needed numbers up... it would be so easy to plaster Supergirl on the cover for the _third_ time this month and use her young rising legacy to garner much needed attention.. to sacrifice the last of her own withering power and hand it over to the newbie wearing a pair of strategically placed tights. But she didn't do easy.

 _Cat Grant isn't easy._

Sighing, _no_ she'd worked too goddamn hard to sell her soul that quickly, she wasn't one to shy away from hard work... _not now._ Not ever. Even if Supergirl was _all she ever wanted to cover._

Supergirl was miraculous... full of splendour but Cat had curbed those thoughts quicker than she'd downed her glass of Macallan 18.. because Kara... _if that was her true name_ was naive, young, _pure_ and far too similar to that of a midlife crisis.

Decidedly Flicking through lists of employees, wondering who to fire... the urge to crack the whip simmering underneath the surface. Her thoughts immediately backtracked to Kara's sulking face if she actually did what she was wholly intending...

 _Fuck._ it was like her mind was compelled. She kept catching herself falling back on those _distasteful thoughts._ Like it was something her fifty year old body couldn't ignore.. _she was just so enticing,_ something about her endearing aura and that slither of _something_... that hint of mystery that made Cat want to open up Pandora's box and envelope herself within its contents.

 _Now that'd only end in tragedy, wouldn't it?_

Determined zooming back to her workload... she studied the new rising star attempting to topple Catco, doing so without cringing.. _that alone took strenuous effort_ , scowling at every page turn, she wasn't at the peak of this Industry to let some over exuberant millennial magazine or something of equal repugnant measure stake its claim so suddenly. It was time for reinventing the status quo... for innovation.

Because after all she was it's creator, the one who'd strategically crafted the status quo's framework in the first place.


End file.
